Fatherless children

They say smokers never grow old, they die young. As I am one of the fatherless children who have struggled through life with only a mother to sustain the needs of the family. It was not easy for a young girl like me who have been loved, pampered and taken cared of by a loving father. I fear my father, he was a disciplinarian, but I loved him dearly, though my greatest regret was not being very verbal about it, but I love him so much. I was a papas girl in the making. And as the eldest in the family it was a role I have to play.

At an early age I have to work part time as a student assistant to support my studies. Reporting for work during my break periods, arranged thousands of books, cleaned them, sorted them the dewey decimal way, served as junior librarian when the librarians were away or absent from work, errand girl, clerk, and lots of things I have loved doing and has been a part of my college life.

Lung cancer, it was the cause why my father died. I have seen him suffer from it and how painfull that sight and that memory for our family. Piercing your heart seeing him fight to live just another minute. He was too young to die, I know he was not ready to die but physically he was too weak to survive. He made everything to recover, sold our jeepneys, our house and neary everything but to no avail it did not extned his life. The cancer was way too far reaching the depths of his lungs and piercing his heart and other major organs. Looking back, he used to smoke like a rapid chain smoker, a chain smoker in every sense of the word. And I just hate the thought of this useless cigarette which took my father and left us empty.

And I'm thankfull, still for everything that happened in my life, I wouldnt be where I am now. For that Someone up there who have been sustaining me, holding my hand, supporting me and always being there every step of my way. I know without Him in my life, life wont be the same. For the people He used to bless me and to help me in my journey. " So close, I believe, You're holding me now in Your hands I belong, You'll never let me go......All along You were beside me even when I couldn't tell, and through the years You showed me more of You, more of You "